Humility

It was a tough week at work. I had to make several decisions. Decisions that weren’t easy to make. Decisions that I struggled with. Decisions that were mine to make because of the position I hold. One of those decisions included choosing between supporting an employee or supporting my boys. Another decision involved working with several people with differing viewpoints, helping to facilitate a common ground. And yet another decision was that of terminating an employee. Tough decisions, affecting real people.
So tonight, I went to Good Friday service at church. It was a last-minute decision, actually. I went looking for reassurance that I’m not really a ‘bad’ person, in spite of the decisions I made this week. Instead, I received confirmation that I’m ‘bad’ to the core. That shook me a bit. But I also received reassurance that I’m forgiven. Yet, I as I left church, I struggled with my emotions. Did I make the right decisions this week? I think so, but I don’t know for sure. Did I handle my decision-making with enough grace? I hope so, but I don’t know for sure. Were people affected by my choices? Of course, but how significantly, I don’t know for sure. Was I faithful in bathing my decision-making process in enough prayer? Nope. I do know that for sure. God reminds me:  “Those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.” (1 Cor 4.2) Some days it’s pretty fun, doing what I do. Today, I was humbly reminded that I’ve been given a trust.  A trust that requires that I shoulder a lot of responsibility…a responsibility to be faithful – faithful in praying over every decision I make.  And then I can rest in the grace and forgiveness offered in the cross.

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